Says belittle good for you

Little love etiquette or: being decent 10 times.

Today it will be very specific:
Nails with heads, butter for the fish.

A few very simple behaviors will not only make your everyday life much easier, but will also save you from unpleasant moments and situations and others from being ashamed of others.
Some have it in their blood, some had a family where good behavior was important, others were either never told or they just didn't pay attention to it.

There are only a few very specific things - nothing profound, completely unknown, world-changing, or vital.

They are things that you could also use the old-fashioned word: "decency" to describe.

So:
ready for good manners?

 

1. If someone gives you a gift, do not reply:
"But that wouldn't have been necessary."

With that you degrade yourself.
If the gift had been necessary, it would not be a real gift, just a remedy - and would belittle you (you have a hardship) instead of honoring you.
You are worth receiving gifts.
Often.
Spontaneous.
Unexpectedly.

So rejoice, say thank you, and enjoy.
That's it.

 

2. If you pay something at the cash register, you will be served in the restaurant, you buy a burger, you hand in your things to the cleaning, get fresh towels from room service - then look people in the eyes.
And if it's only 2 seconds: LOOK AT IT.

NOT the cash register, NOT the bill, NOT the shirts, NOT the fuel receipt - look people in the eye.

Yes, you have a lot to do, and yes, maybe your thoughts are elsewhere right now, and yes, today is not your day, blah ... - but these are just lame excuses.
Nothing is more precious than people - you are in this world because of them!

For advanced users: SMILE.

 

3. If you go out for something to drink or eat with someone, take the bill.
Simply basically.

Nothing is worse than having a coffee with a man and hearing the answer: "Separately."
After that everything went well, believe me.

Never, never, never do that.
If you are a man, please internalize it forever: you take the bill.
(and stay away from me with your emancipatory talk.)
If you are a woman, take the bill as often as possible.
If you are a mother / father, funnel it into your sons.
Yes, daughters too, but even more so for the sons - they should be as quick as lightning;).

Do it discreetly, without much fanfare, best to give yourself a short debt and pay on the way to the toilet.
Don't make a fuss about it.

Note: you take over the bill.
Generosity is an important trait of a love ambassador.
Don't ask, just do it and enjoy it.

 

4. If someone visits you (spontaneous or expected), ask within the first few seconds:
"What can I offer you to drink? Coffee? Tea? Something cold? "
(and not: "Do you want something to drink?" - that would leave the person with the option to decline in order to "not cause you any trouble".)

Don't let the person ask questions on their own - nothing is more uncomfortable or makes the other person feel more unwelcome.

Common in southern cultures: “Are you hungry? What can I offer you to eat? I have XY there ... would you like to try it? ”- not necessarily standard here, but just as beautiful!
In any case, it has never been refused when I asked;).

 

5. If you come into a room, are new / unknown / unsafe, then the following basically applies:
Approach people, look them in the eye, hold out your hand, introduce yourself, smile briefly.

It's always better than standing in a corner unsure of yourself or simply saying “hello” without physical contact.

Note:
always look people in the eye.
Don't greet the floor.
Not your own hand.
Not the horizon.

Exception:
If you enter a waiting room, an elevator, or a shop, then you just say “Hello” - you don't have to shake hands with anyone here;).
But please don't go in silently either.

 

6. If you're with someone, don't check your cell phone.
Not at all.
Even when you're not talking.

If it is urgently needed, do it ONCE and ask the other person if they mind if you look for something important for a short time - yes, an explanation is needed here.
Are you a man and check your cell phone on a date: over and out.

Don't make the person feel that their presence is less important than a virtual message - you won't start reading the newspaper or a book either;).

If you are close friends, spend hours together, and the atmosphere is very relaxed, then of course it's different - but you know the difference well.

When in doubt, always look less at it.

 

7. If you're complimenting someone, don't wrap it up as an insult.

"I used to find you arrogant - but you're actually really nice."
"The new hairstyle looks good on you - you looked so old-fashioned with the old one."
"This dress is finally something different compared to your constant jeans."

Nobody needs to be happy about something like that, it's just the bottom drawer.
And NO, it's not honest - it's rude, hurtful, and outrageous.

You don't have to find everything good, distribute compliments and praise everywhere, but the following applies to you:
if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

 

 

8. Oh, while we're on the subject ...

Worst answers to compliments:

- “Yes, great jacket, isn't it? Only cost € 20! "
(Oh yes? Who cares about the price of the jacket? Or that it was particularly cheap?)

- “Do you like the skirt? Oh, the old thing ... I already have that! "
(You question the other person's judgment by labeling a part that they like about you as old (and therefore nothing special). Unless you have been explicitly asked whether you have the part new;)).

- "Yes, but I still have 8 kilos too much because of the pregnancy." - in response to a compliment on your slim legs, etc.
(Why devalue and relativize the beautiful immediately? Just enjoy your beautiful legs and shut up.)

 

9. Applies not only in etiquette, but also in the job (service sector in particular), in relationships, in general everyday life with others:
if something didn't go so well and you screwed up, just admit it.

Without inferiority, without hours of justification, without righteousness, without eternally long explanations, without hiding behind excuses:
“Yes, that was a mistake on my part. I am sorry."

Stand by it.
Very easily.
This advice will help you so much - and defuse most stupid situations immediately.

 

10. If you go through a door, look behind you and keep it open in case someone walks behind you.
Jahaaaaa, just do it.

In the elevator you ALWAYS wait for the others to leave before going in yourself.
The same applies to the bus or train.
Squeezing yourself in while you are doing this not only shows bad manners - it also shows that you are stressed.

And you know:
Anyone in a hurry is an errand boy.
Whoever has time is a king.

You all already knew that.
But for the 3 readers who have forgotten - free reminder service, as always;).

Love greetings
Joanna

P.s. This post is not intended to get upset about the bad manners of others - but to give you specific help.
So if the comments are scolded about how badly others are behaving, then they will not be published in the first place.
Thanks for your understanding.