What nourishes your soul

Through mental autonomy to more joy of life and health

"Thank you thank you thank you! We start the afternoon of our life completely unprepared. Worse, we do so on the false assumption that our truths and ideals will continue to serve us as they have before. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning's program, because what was great in the morning will mean little in the evening. And what is still true in the morning turns out to be a lie in the evening. ”With these words, the film“ The Shift - The Secret of Inspiration ”begins with and by Dr. Wayne Dyer. The film is one of a series of films that spoke directly to my soul.


Which film spoke directly to your soul?


Rüdiger Dahlke takes up this formative influence of films in his new book "Hollywood Therapy" and presents what films reveal about our soul. “In fact, feature films enable wonderfully exciting and at the same time relaxed psychotherapy that happens as if on the side. But they can also help to avoid disasters, because they let us experience them in other lives so lifelike that we can steer our ship of life past them, ”says Dahlke.


What moment turned your ideals upside down?


When did you realize for yourself that the truths and ideals according to which you lived the morning of your life no longer carry the afternoon of your life? Many people experience this mid-life, between the ages of 35 and 45. This “shift” is often triggered by a crisis. My "shift" was the death of my father. I was only in my early 20s, but life probably believed that I was already up to this crisis.


What carries us when everything breaks away around us?


In the film "The Shift" above, a study is quoted that states that life-orientating values ​​for women and men turn 180 degrees after a crisis. If in the morning of life for women everything revolved around family, being independent, career, pleasing others and external attractiveness, then these ideals no longer play a role after their personal shift for the afternoon of their lives. They are completely replaced by the pursuit of personal growth, self-respect, spirituality (being connected to something greater than yourself), happiness, and forgiveness. For men, such events change everything. While the first half of her life was all about wealth, adventure, success, pleasure, and respect for the same sex, the second half of her life was all about spirituality, personal peace, family, God's will, and authenticity.

Looking back, I can 100% confirm this change. For me, the values ​​mentioned first faded into the background much earlier than for those around me. The premature death of my father, from the perspective of the time, made me aware that we all don't have time to postpone being happy into the future. And certainly not to wait until we retire, because we may not even reach them. And what if we achieve it, but can no longer buy anything from all the accumulated prosperity, because our mental or physical health no longer enables the dreams that have been saved to be fulfilled, or there is no one left to fulfill these dreams with. So, partly consciously, partly unconsciously, I made an early decision in favor of “personal growth” and “spirituality” and against a career and all the other apparently significant ideals of the morning of life. So I wanted z. B. with my time out and travel through the world a few years ago, not satisfying my thirst for adventure, like many other people I met on the way, but the longing for myself and the desire for personal growth. Questions like, “Who am I if everything breaks away around me?” And “What would I do if I weren't afraid?” Accompanied me the entire time and gradually became the motto of my path. This time nourished my soul so deeply and sustainably that I will certainly benefit from it for my whole life. Even if there are still moments today when I miss my father on this earthly world, I am grateful for this experience, which led me to myself and my inner compass early on. It was also the moment when I became aware of my soul and with it the connection to the soul of my father that noticeably outlived his death. Many people with whom I have spoken about death since then have told me about the same phenomenon. Although the loved one is no longer on earth, the connection to him is stronger than ever before. It seemed as if he could always be with us in the form of his soul. While all of this may sound absurd to the mind, the soul knows what I am talking about. This becomes clear in this very touching The Work session by Byron Katie "Fathers don´t die".


What nourishes my soul?


What is the soul According to C. G. Jung, founder of analytical psychology, the soul consists of an infinite unconscious and is divided into a personal and a collective unconscious. For Jung, consciousness and the unconscious were permeable, i. H. the content can become conscious at one point in time and sink back into the unconscious at another. If you want to get a brief insight into C. G. Jung's approaches, you will find an initial overview in this video.


What are the moments in which the content of the subconscious becomes conscious?


In all the moments we are moved by, whether pleasant or uncomfortable, the contents of the unconscious rise into consciousness. The soul communicates with the mind and body through emotions. This emotional world consists of a conscious and an unconscious part, with the unconscious part taking up the main part with between 90 and 95%. This unconscious part is the home of our emotions. Anger, anger, disgust, sadness and joy are the so-called basic emotions. The control is largely carried out by internal mental and physical processes and can hardly be consciously influenced by us. They find their expression in our spontaneous gestures and facial expressions. A feeling, on the other hand, only arises when an emotion is consciously perceived and processed. This consciously perceived and processed emotion, now called feeling, helps us to evaluate experiences and make decisions and regulate our network of relationships. In order to interpret the language of our soul, it is necessary to become aware of the prevailing emotions. Our soul communicates with us incessantly, whether we listen to it depends on our ability to understand its language. The film “Everything is upside down” illustrates this wonderfully (link to the trailer on Youtube). Definitely look at those who don't know him yet.


According to Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, dreams are direct access to our unconscious inner world. With the help of a dream diary, everyone can gain initial insights for themselves. The concepts developed by C. G. Jung also aim to give us a deeper insight into our soul world. A concept that is particularly important for myself and in my work as a coach is that of the shadow complex, which I already examined in more detail in the article "From shadow to treasure". But people of today, such as Rüdiger Dahlke, show nourishing ways for our souls, as in the already mentioned book "Hollywood Therapy" or "Soul Infarction: Between Burn-Out and Bore-Out - How Our Psyche Can Grow Wings Again". In the last-mentioned book, Dahlke shows in particular concrete options for action there is no soul infact in the first place or the way back to mental health is easier, because apparently the way to mental health often seems blocked by the fact that we go through the world with wrong assumptions, such as by Klaus Eidenschink, Executive Coach, in a nutshell: “If you hope the boss will make you happy, you've already lost.” And the word “boss” can easily be exchanged for partners r, parents, children, friends, etc. It is therefore a matter of not making one's well-being dependent on specific relationships and conditions, or in other words, to achieve mental autonomy. Klaus Eidenschink names 6 characteristics of good self-regulation:

  1. 1. Self-worth does not depend on not making mistakes.
  2. 2. You don't say “yes” when you see inner boundaries and feel a “no”.
  3. 3. You feel different impulses after work and don't have to force yourself to switch off.
  4. 4. Self-esteem is not linked to the achievement of professional goals.
  5. 5. Using one's own talents is more important than power, money or admiration.
  6. 6. There are always alternative ways to develop your own skills.


So it's about strengthening one's self-worth and learning to say “no”, learning to switch off, becoming aware of one's talents and using them, and finding areas in which one's own abilities can be used meaningfully and responsibility for to take over one's mental autonomy. Don't wait any longer for someone else to do something, do it. You are welcome to read more about this in my article “Living self-responsibility”.


Luck. Where did you find it, I've looked everywhere for it? I did that by myself! (Unknown)


One aspect that most people don't think of "soul" is the importance of our food. With the subtitle “How not eating meat and milk heals body and soul”, the author, Rüdiger Dahlke, in his book “Peace Food” shows the interaction between body and soul. The extensive information in his work will shake some of you awake or at least rethink your previous eating habits.


Be good to your body so that your soul feels like living in it. (Teresa of Avila)


When it became clear to me in the article "The Power of Self-Healing" how complex each of the structures of the wondrous triangle of body, mind and soul is, I decided to write a separate article for each one. Many of the impulses of the previous articles about the body and spirit are also a gift for your soul and vice versa. Each part stands for itself and yet depends on each other. Check carefully for yourself what really nourishes you or what only gives you an initial short pacification and leaves you hungry in the long run. Something in you will know what is really good for you, try it out. You always carry your inner compass with you, you become attentive to the sensations of your body, your mind and your soul and trust your intuition.


We have to take a break from time to time and wait for our souls to catch up with us again. (Indian wisdom)


For me, this intense preoccupation with my inner life has always been a real pleasure. If you find it difficult for yourself, get someone to accompany you on this path. It is worth it! Please give me a call and make an appointment for an initial free telephone coaching.

I look forward to getting to know you and accompanying you on your personal path to more joie de vivre, ease and relaxation.



The beauty of your soul is beyond anything - it is endless. (Yogi Bhajan)


Sincerely, see you next article


Vera Elkendorf

Your coach for more joie de vivre


Published on 05/13/2018