Is it necessary to wish true happiness?

Money alone does not make you happy: How we prevent our true happiness through our fear of unhappiness

We all know the stories: the poor farmer's daughter who in the end finds her prince, who makes all her dreams come true in his fairytale castle. Even the undreamed-of ones. The troubled fisherman for whom the fish makes his heart's wishes come true in exchange for his freedom. The maid who learns to weave gold; the youth who defeats the dragon for the treasure; the hunter who follows dwarfs into the gem-rich underworld - they all have one thing in common: the tempting wealth that promises endless happiness, hidden in the glow of glittering diamonds, gold and other goodies.

My house, my car, my sailing boat - the illusion of money and happiness

Today the weighting is a little different: Money still promises happiness, but in a much more modern form - my car, my house, my horse, my yacht, my lottery win. The man who drives the new Audi wins the heart of his loved one; the woman with the expensive Chanel perfume is unbeatably successful and even a simple Coca Cola, Nutella, Red Bull or a pack of Pringles promise an irresistible one Attraction to the social environment.

Life is magical and the heart is happy when you find yourself on paradisiacal beaches or move into your dream villa, when you fly first class through the air with champagne in hand or play golf and walk the red carpet with the top stars. But what if not? What if the bet doesn't work out and the illusion of luck and money pops like a soap bubble?

Who flies high, falls low - money alone does not make you happy

Money alone doesn't make you happy, my grandmother used to say, happily looking at her chickens in the garden. Creating something makes you happy, she said, the feeling of having a rich and fulfilling life makes you happy; love makes you happy and the feeling of security in a community that accepts and supports.

How many really rich people are not happy deep down even though they have everything? Studies show that lottery millionaires fall back into their old patterns after an average of 6 months from the initial euphoria. Who flies high, falls low. It wasn't my grandma, it was my father.

Best things in life are free - happiness is priceless

To be honest - I'm not immune to the whole thing. I've traveled the world looking for happiness in all possible and impossible circumstances, found and lost it, found it again, rediscovered it, dug it up and then let it fly away again.

Happiness comes and goes, we all know that. And happiness can often truly be found in the small, priceless things such as a loving hug, a friendly gesture or the feeling of standing on the roof of the world and looking into a valley after a seemingly endless ascent.

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Too Much of Everything - Material happiness is a luxury problem

I often found myself in a mall with the insatiable needhaving to own everything that could be seen in the brightly colored shop window displays. There was a void in me that had to be filled. And after hours of buying frenzy, a feeling of oversaturation sets in, a nausea, like after overeating - when we are very hungry, we reach for large portions.

The nausea makes me give back all the things I have just acquired in abundance and go home empty-handed and with the feeling that I already have everything. Returning my purchases is new and builds on the experience of owning large collections of things that I acquired on a shopping spree and then but were never used.

Repentance trains. And the knowledge I have acquired lets me Look for happiness elsewhere, not in department stores. And in spite of all this, there is always the subliminal wish in me to be financially completely independent. A luxury problem when you travel the world one way or another and live in places where many people expect just that - happiness.

The longing for happiness creates material illusions - happiness is not a state

Happiness and money are subconsciously linked deep within us that we often do not even notice how much we are being guided by the secret desire to achieve endless wealth in order to conjure up endless happiness. But puff cake.

I am currently living in a city where rental prices exceed my possible budget many times over each month. So that's the Dream of a beautiful home from far away I have come very close to me and I can feel how this longing affects my happiness again and again.

“If I were really rich, luck will come. Because then I would have this beautiful house. " I envy secretly the residents of the beach promenade and those of the Renaissance houses in the city center. I fervently wish the same for myself. Dear God, please give me a beautiful house!

Deeply rooted in the nature of my human existence, the desire for a lot of money is not only linked to the achievement of happiness but also to the need for a home and a kind of existential security, which I did not know before. And yet: Isn't this linking of my inner happiness to an external state just a postponement of the search for true and, above all, constant happiness?

Earthship dream home - what keeps us from realizing our own deep desires?

Actually, I would really like to have an Earthship, i.e. a house that, by definition, is made almost exclusively from materials that have been recycled, i.e. often things that can be found just like that. An Earthship is made according to the principles state-of-the-art energy knowledge built: It uses solar energy, water and wind power, natural light and everything that nature has to offer. What is really holding me back from building this? Certainly not the lack of money.

Light side of loss - when everything is lost, freedom and ease arise

15 years ago my own house burned down and with the house everything I owned. Even today I can feel the feeling of desperation in me, with which I wandered through my rooms in my dreams and mourned all the beautiful things that were lost for me forever.

From one of these dreams I woke up after 9 days and knew that I was happy. I was happy, because I was grateful, grateful for my family, who stood by my side in good health, grateful for all the friends and acquaintances who helped to get through the first few days in shock and brought one gift after another.

And I was happy about the sudden one Lightness of being, the fact that I no longer had anything to watch out for, to take care of, use, or take care of. Suddenly I was so free and light as never before in my life.

Gratitude, mindfulness, presence - remedies against the fear of decline

The years go by and all experiences become stories that I might one day tell my grandchildren as a grandmother. Hopefully. For me, this story is always a lesson if I want to be desperately rich today.

The lesson of history for me is gratitude, mindfulness, presence - Qualities that I cannot buy for any money in the world. By focusing on positive qualities and values, we can reverse negative thought processes or fearful thinking in our brain and restructure it.

As a holdover from the time when humans still lived in caves our brains still have a negative polarity. This is not a disadvantage, but has led to the survival of our species over the millennia, because we did not initially blame the rustling in the bushes very optimistically, but rather suspected a hungry saber-toothed tiger from the outset, rather pessimistically.

Happiness and lasting joy arise only in a relaxed state

Today this negative impulse is still present in us, but we are able to control our brain with our intellect and to reverse the polarity. Mindfulness and presence are probably the most powerful tools and virtues of a reality that offers us enough security to be happy, because that is what we need: the feeling of security, what allows us to relax.

If we are not relaxed, all the muscles in our body contract and send Stress impulses to our nervous system, which then leads to the release of adrenaline and others Stress hormones reacts that would have enabled us to run away or fight in the cave and give us negative thoughts, stress, dissatisfaction and unhappiness today.

It has been neuroscientifically proven that Relaxation through meditation for example helps to create states of gratitude, inner balance and a lasting feeling of happiness and joy.

The way to happiness - relaxation of the body and focus on the essentials

Money alone doesn't make you happy - yes, my grandma was right. But having no money at all doesn't work either. The middle way brings harmony back into our existence, as it is prescribed as a cocktail in Buddhism, among other things: Away from too much wanting and desiring, because it prevents us from lingering in the here and now, with what really is and ourselves prevents lasting happiness.

And also away from too much aversion to what we do not want or fear. Often I literally paint more devils on the wall than are really there, and then the next day I find myself rested and changed again and wonder if the whole theater was really necessary. (No, it wasn't.)

So I relax my mind and try to use all the things I know: meditation, yoga, mindfulness and again and again the conscious focus on the essentials: I am healthy. I have a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator - and yes, I already have more than a majority of the people on this planet, and that thought elicits a quiet feeling of gratitude.

This text is an excerpt from an article by Juliane Wothe from the magazine maaS No. 6 'Money and Happiness'.