How do I diminish my feelings

Most people want a life that consists of a lot of positive feelings and as few unpleasant feelings as possible. We often feel helpless when faced with negative feelings. Anger, anger, fear or jealousy often lead to internal blockages, distorted perceptions or problematic behaviors that we feel sorry for or damage afterwards. Hence, we tend to fight or avoid negative internal emotions or thoughts.

Avoiding negative inner experiences usually only works for a short time. We also need to recognize negative emotional states as it helps us to understand what we fear, miss or love. Negative feelings are necessary to get processes and developments going. Recognizing and understanding negative states is a way of clarifying and coping with.

Accordingly, accepting uncomfortable feelings is an important self-awareness. The following exercise can be helpful in approaching negative inner thoughts, images or emotions, understanding and accepting them and ultimately enabling developments and solutions. Many people feel relaxed afterwards, as learning to accept negative feelings usually robs us less of energy than fighting and avoiding them. If you feel like it, give the exercise a try.

Take a comfortable sitting position and read the instructions slowly.

Take a few deep breaths in and out ... Think of a current situation that causes you anger, anger, fear, or distress. This could be an argument or some other experience that offended or disappointed you. Try to remember this situation very intensely. Which aspect of this situation leads you to the most negative perceptions? Do you feel any physical sensation as you visualize this event? Now try what happens if you defend yourself and say no. Try to say no to negative feelings, no to fear, no to anger, shame, or grief. And now pay attention to what this resistance does to you, feel the resistance in your body. What happens to the painful emotions when you say no? Do you feel stress, pressure? You may feel tension when you focus on defending yourself against these negative sensations. Now breathe deeply in and out again and leave the situation, say goodbye to your thoughts and only pay attention to your breathing.

Now try a second time to visualize the painful situation. Recall the details and feelings you associate with this situation. Now consciously direct your concentration on saying yes, consciously directing a yes on these inner experiences. Say yes to the uncomfortable sensations. Pay attention to your body, how it feels when you say yes, maybe you feel openness, movement, maybe you feel relief or space for development. What would your life be like if you managed to say yes to the things you can't change? Now go back to breathing with your concentration, concentrate on the breathing movement that you feel in your upper body and try to distribute relaxation in your body. "


Michalak, J. (2009). Acceptance II. In: Fliegel, S., & Kämmerer, A. (2009). Psychotherapeutic treasures II. DGVT-Verlag.

Dr. phil. dipl. psych. Melanie Braun