What makes you feel valued and needed

When we don't feel valued

Last update: 03 January, 2018

It is perfectly normal for us to sometimes feel that we are not valued by our loved ones, and they don't even notice. We then believe that they do not always love us because of personal weaknesses or, as the saying goes, "Because of our way of being" or "Because we offend".

Every now and then, however, we don't value ourselves because we believe that we have to question everything and have an answer ready for every question. This “loss of value” as a consequence of habit or routine is a widespread phenomenon in love relationships. The magic, the affection and tokens of love are lost and the love breaks.

Even if this happens frequently, that doesn't mean that it doesn't plunge us into an emotional crisis anyway, we don't mind, and it doesn't end in relationships that promise us everything and yet give us nothing. Knowing that this is the case, it is important to raise awareness of our means and options for avoiding pain.

There is an urgent need to lose yourself from time to time, to flee from yourself, to feel empty, exhausted, hurt, to skin, to bump into, to be devastated and then to remember nothing, yourself of everything to free yourself to cling to life afterwards, to find yourself again and to dress in pastel colors, to take slow steps and to smile at the neighbors when they greet you on the stairs.

The painful loss of value before the eyes of our loved ones

Habit is undoubtedly to blame for the fact that we are no longer valued by those around us. We tend to get used to what we have and not appreciate what our partner, friends, or family members mean to us in our lives.

The consequence of this is that we no longer strive to take care of others, to give them love and to conquer them every day. We forget to smile, to wish each other a good day, to hand out nice words paired with gestures of affection, to surprise others - we just forget everything.

Over time we become self-evident, an obligation, we behave indifferently and become cold-hearted, insensitive, inflexible and loveless beings.

Maybe we treat other people lovingly, focus on our work, new hobbies, sports, and other friendships or relationships. Yet many times we forget to be how we should be for that important someone. So then love dies because it dies through indifference and this bad habit is replaced, not appreciating what we have.

The routine is inevitable, but we must not forget to appreciate our loved ones

We have heard this one sentence many times: "You don't know what you have until you lose it." But that is definitely not the truth. We know very well what we have, but the truth is that we don't believe that the day will come when we will lose everything.

We think that these people will be by our side forever, that we have participated enough to be able to spend the rest of our time together with our partner well deserved, that it is only bad phases and habits and that time heals all wounds, if ever something went wrong.

Yet it seems that that day when a miracle happens will never come and that we continue to be surrounded by a storm of forgotten appreciation, indifference and disinterest.

So it's likely that at some point one of the two parts of the relationship will come to the decision - or rather feel - that what cannot be solved by turning to the next page of the book will find a solution in a new book. This way of thinking or feeling is normal and understandable, because we cannot remain trapped our entire life in a relationship that destroys us from within, destroys our expectations and disregards our needs.

We are not made to adapt. For this reason, if we are stuck in a dormant relationship for a long period of time that is marked by indifference and listlessness, we usually just accept a relationship that worsens our exchanges of feelings.

It takes more than love to maintain a relationship. In order for a love to stay alive, it is essential that there is a mutual interest and that this is also conveyed. Otherwise the love relationship ends in emotional exhaustion for the partner who loves but can no longer.

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